Monday, August 27, 2012

A Little Heart To Heart

This is going to be just a short follow-up to the last post. I didn't want too much time to pass before recording the conversation Rachel and I had regarding all of the stuff I mentioned in the last post about school, SSDI, and the medical power of attorney.

I sat down with her today to briefly discuss the basics of those things, and lay out the pros and cons of the SSDI filing, as I know them. There are simply too many things that I myself don't understand yet, but I wanted her to know just what was on the table, and how much she's going to be responsible for, in just a short 5 months.

Rachel is not in any way mentally impaired on a normal day. She passes all the school benchmarks, though she has to work harder to get there. Her impairment comes from the seizures themselves, and side effects of medications. She is slightly socially impaired, and rather naive in some ways. In others, she regularly surprises me with her insights. 

What this comes down to is that I've been putting off having this conversation with Rachel, because I was worried about what her reaction would be to the SSDI possibility, and what that would mean for her. I was worried that she would see that as marking her as permanently broken. We do not see our daughter as broken. We see SSDI as a way to help Rachel be independent, in the event that she's not able to hold a steady job. 

Our goals for Rachel's life haven't changed from what they were when she was born: We want her to have every opportunity possible, no matter her level of ability. We hope she'll be able to go on to college, have a fulfilling job, and a loving, stable relationship. Our hangup over asking for help, or trying to be completely self-sufficient, has to be set aside in the quest to do what's best for her. 

So, my little update became a full-fledged post. I guess I had more to get off my chest than I thought.


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